Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
