Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
