so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
