And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she smelled like a LAN party
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
