I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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