what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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