just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
