i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
