i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
