Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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