ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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