I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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