I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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