She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
