My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
