He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize