The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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