I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
