Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
