i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
