I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
