Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize