I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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