I want to stick my p in your. b.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
