the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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