evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Everyone says I win the strip club
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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