I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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