remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
