Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
