Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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