i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
