I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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