i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
