shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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