i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
