It's Friday. Sex?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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