Where is the hickey?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.