Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.