I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
