We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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