I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
