I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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