the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
