i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
