well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The air taste purple.
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