ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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