quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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