You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
