i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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