Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
