Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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