I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
