are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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