omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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