How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
