I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
