after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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