So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
