She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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