okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
