and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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