Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
