Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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