my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
