I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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