new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
